Aliens and Dinosaurs
by Enthusiastic Fish
Summary: A silly oneshot I wrote on the theme of alien abduction. Tim is annoyed when his breakfast is interrupted by a pesky alien with a job to do.


**A/N:** This oneshot was originally written in May 2008. I wrote it as a gift and it is one of two fairly silly alien abduction stories I've written. This is the sillier of the two. The word _alien_ is italicized throughout because iheartGibbs had been insisting over and over again that I write an alien story and so I worked the word in as often as I could...and I emphasized it every time it came up. Yes, that's what I do sometimes. So...don't expect anything serious and don't expect anything deep. You have been warned.

**Disclaimer:** Be glad that I don't own NCIS when I do things like this to it. I do not own it and I'm not making money off it. ...I could _use_ the money, but it's not coming from fanfiction.

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**Aliens and Dinosaurs**  
by Enthusiastic Fish

Tim sat at his counter, happily eating his dinosaur cereal. It was a great morning...the sun was shining merrily. The grass was a bright green that brought out his eyes. There were even birds chirping. It was just a beautiful morning...the kind that heralded eventual disaster. He had no sooner thought that when the light shone directly over his head.

Tim sighed. "They're never going to believe this," he said as his body began to dematerialize.

When he came to, he was sealed in some sort of exotic (or perhaps..._alien_?) specimen jar. There were..._aliens_ bent over strange controls, fiddling with _alien_ instruments and doing all around _alien_ things.

Far from being frightened, Tim was merely annoyed. These people...er..._aliens_ had absolutely no concept of a normal work day. Or maybe they did and this was a part of their _own_, personal..._alien_ work schedule. He tapped on the glass. Surprised, the _aliens_ looked up at him.

"Hey! Is this going to take long? Because my boss really, _really_ hates it when I'm late for work."

The _aliens_ turned to each other and began speaking in incomprehensible _alien_ languages. They made some emphatic gestures and then, one of the _aliens_ sighed loudly. Or at least, Tim decided that it _must_ be a sigh. It certainly seemed that way. Another _alien_ reached out with an _alien_ hand and swatted him on the back. Somehow, Tim just knew that the _alien_ currently rubbing its back was saying something along the lines of "Thanks, Boss."

The _alien_ hovered over to Tim and stared at him dolefully with four perfectly circular eyes.

Tim smiled sympathetically. "My boss does that _all_ the time. Only he hits me on the head instead."

All four _alien_ eyes rolled in complete understanding. Then, the _alien_ turned to a set of _alien_ diodes and began to work.

"How long is this going to take?"

The _alien_ shrugged. Tim got the distinct impression that it was saying "As long as it takes." ...of course, that distinct impression was more than likely due to the subtitles currently running along the bottom of the specimen jar. It was quite handy.

"Okay. I suppose I can live with that," he said. Then, he paused. "I _am_ going to live with this, right?"

The _alien_ looked up from its work and nodded.

Tim sighed in relief. "Good. Although, I'm still going to be late."

The _alien_ shrugged again. "Live with it."

"Okay. I was just really enjoying my cereal..."

"...the dinosaurs?" the _alien_ looked up eagerly.

"Yeah. I love them."

"Me, too. We took a guy up last week who had boxes and _boxes_. We're not technically supposed to take _anything_, but..." The _alien_ sighed happily. "...your species is worth studying just for dinosaur cereal. Anyone who could invent such a delight..." It sighed again.

"Wow, I totally agree!" Tim said ecstatically. "Will I have time to finish mine or is this going to take too much time?"

"Well..." The _alien _pushed another button and Tim was suddenly looking at his own insides. That was fairly disconcerting...but at least, they seemed to be staying in place. "...I'm sorry, but you're already late for work. I was late this morning. My boss hates lateness."

"Mine, too." Tim was relieved when his body turned opaque again. Of course, he was slightly more concerned when his organs...including his brain, seemed to float out of his body and hover around the specimen jar. He almost missed reading the subtitles which translated the _alien_ language for him.

"This is important research, however, and a slight measure of discomfort is worth it for the dividends."

"Dividends?" Tim asked, trying not to notice that all his gray matter was currently unraveling...along with his small intestines. This was some pretty amazing _alien_ technology...at least, if it all went back in his body where it belonged.

"Oh, yes. We have not yet figured out the secret of how such a primitive race could invent dinosaur cereal." The _alien_ shook his head in dismay. "We have all this amazing technology and we cannot even make something as delectable as the tiny pieces of grains shaped like extinct reptiles."

"Are you about done?"

"Well, with the initial stage."

"You know, some people don't really like it."

"What?" The _alien_ was outraged. "If I could only export it to my homeworld, I'd be a multi-kazillionaire! What an unfortunate state of affairs."

"I can't explain it. There's no accounting for taste."

"Well, I'm about done here." The _alien_ pushed another button and all of Tim's body parts resumed their appropriate positions.

"It was nice talking with you."

"And you. I hope your boss doesn't slap you too hard," the _alien_ said, wincing.

"Me, too, but I've had worse."

"Hey...since you're going to be late and all..." the _alien_ looked around furtively. It lowered its voice conspiratorily. "...you won't have time to finish your bowl...will you?"

Tim smiled. "All right. You can have the rest. Just wash out the bowl when you're done, okay?"

"Deal!" The _alien_ pushed another button and Tim began to dematerialize.

His last words with the _alien_ civilization were... "Don't forget to use the soap and scrub it hard!"

Then, he was back in his apartment. He looked at his watch, looked longingly at the half full bowl of dinosaur cereal and ran out the door.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"McGee!" Gibbs said, delivering a resounding slap to the back of his head. "You're an hour late! Where have you been?"

"Uh...well...Boss..." _They'll never believe me._ "...I just got distracted."

"By what? What could possibly be so important that it rendered you incapable of getting to work on time?"

"Dinosaur cereal."

"Cereal?" Gibbs said, his voice heavy with mockery.

"Not just any cereal, Boss. _Dinosaur_ cereal."

Gibbs just looked at him and then grumbled.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

When Tim got back from work, his bowl was empty, clean and the box of cereal was back on its shelf.

"Well, at least _aliens_ are cleaner than Sarah."

Tim got out the box. Sometimes, dinosaur cereal was better in the evenings anyway.

FINIS!


End file.
